Mini Me vs. Older Self: Alkmaar City Run’25
That’s me; My older self vs. Little me, running like she had nothing to lose—and everything to prove. —untrained, but fiercely determined. Always in her soccer shoes or Allstars. Not because her parents couldn’t buy her the “right” gear. No, because she wanted to run like this. she didn’t care what she was wearing. She just ran. In fact, she didn’t really care about running either. She was never the one chasing finish lines or medals. She was there because the gym teachers kept signing her up.
She’d just run. Not for the clock, not for the applause — but because deep down, she needed to prove something. Even if she didn’t know what it was -yet.
She used to be that shy girl — quiet, never one to seek the spotlight. But put her on a starting line, in any competition area with a goal and something will flip over. No training, no high-tech gear but always bringing the one thing that matters the most: a fire inside that said, Go – and she would Go – start running her heart out.
That mindset took her to places she couldn’t even imagine back then. She, that little girl on the picture on the left really had no idea what the world had in store for her — or where that fire to compete, to just go, always all-in, 100% would lead her.
She didn’t become a runner, even though everyone said she had the potential, the form, the movements, won the school races, placed pretty good in the national championships, only if she just trained a little for it…
No, Instead, she went all in on extreme sports for some reason —Skating, snowkiting, kitesurfing, skiing, snowboarding, soccer. Competed at the highest levels, travelled the world, pushed past limits most people wouldn’t even try to approach. All or nothing, 100% — always! Became World Champion, European and Dutch Champion into different disciplines and sports. Did an Olympic campaign…
That mindset didn’t stop at sport. It shaped how she studied, how she worked, how she built her career, her life. She took on paths she (and others) once thought were out of reach. Chose challenges that scared her. Said yes before she felt “ready.” Sport taught her resilience, risk, and how to trust her instincts — and she carried that drive everywhere, into every project, pitch, and pivot.
The beginning of this year, after a long pause, something inside her went still. For the first time ever. She started to wonder: Was that fire still there? The one that used to get her up at the crack of dawn, made her fly, jump, run, compete — without overthinking. The one that didn’t ask “can I?” but simply said “go.” For a while, she wasn’t sure it would return. Doubted if that part still existed.
Fast forward to the moment I started writing this
Last weekend… I found my older self at a “race” again (a running event). The Alkmaar City run by Night. But not to compete. I had simply biked there to support others. To cheer. To stand at the sidelines (-hold all the bags and phones).
With that memory in my backpack; The first time Little me ran, she came in 11th—and it felt like losing to her – even though it wasn`t her sport. She thought she didn’t care but still was devastated when crossing the finish line, she needed to prove to herself for some reason she could keep up with the trained athletes.
Her soccer coach later that day showed her the strength in that result and said, “You had 100+ behind you. Remember that.”
Suddenly, it wasn’t about being last among the trained runners—it was about how many she had already passed, how far she’d pushed herself despite no-one asking or pushing her (from every class someone had to run and she always got signed up). That simple shift in perspective sparked a fire in her. It taught her that winning isn’t always about crossing first — sometimes it’s about showing up, giving your all, and recognizing the progress you’ve made, no matter where you place.
The next year? She won. No proper gear. No coach. No training schedule. Still no idea how to pace herself. But she had something stronger and this time she knew: determination + mindset unbreakable.
And while she kept showing up, there was no pressure from home. Her parents never pushed her — they simply supported her, quietly, from the sidelines. No timers, no tactics, just trust. It was different from the atmosphere around the trained athletes, whose parents stood close, stopwatch in hand, coaching from the fences. Some of them weren’t exactly thrilled when she, the untrained girl in soccer shoes, (having no idea how to start a race from a starting gate) overtook their kids. But she wasn’t there to win their approval — she was just there to run her own race. And after that mum & dad brought her to play the soccer match, a sport she did loved and cared about.
Because she knew by than ; “ it’s not always about the tools or preparation—it’s about drive, self-belief, and showing up fully. In sports, in work, in life”.
Back to the point of this story; The “Alkmaar city Run”
Back in school, I was always the one the gym teachers signed up for the school runs, competitions. I guess they saw something in me — even if I didn’t see it myself yet! And funny enough, nothing’s changed — today, I still somehow got signed up.
This run has a way of turning every “I don’t love running” into a party lap. The route winds right through the heart of Alkmaar — past charming houses, along the canals, through lively streets lined with bars, restaurants, and cheering locals. Music fills the air, high-fives are everywhere, and the entire course lights up with energy and joy. Whether you’re a seasoned runner or just there for the vibes, you’re welcome. Add in the fact that it’s all for a good cause, and it’s more than just a race — it’s a city-wide celebration on the move.
Moral of the story
Years later, last week, I found myself for the first time again at a new starting line.
Not the little girl in soccer shoes anymore. Now I was older, more experienced, carrying a few more scars.
Life had changed.
Funny enough… the fire hadn’t.
The same fire inside, that fire little me used to carry to every race without even realizing it, it is still there!
That same determination little me used to carry — untrained, unsure, but all heart — showed up with me again.
No training plan. No fancy gear. Just a quiet voice that said, “Go.”
And somehow, even after all these years, I listened.
Slightly upgraded shoes. Same drive.
Same girl, just grown.
I’m still not a runner. I never really liked running — and honestly, I still don’t. I don’t crave the miles, I don’t chase PRs, and I’ll always pick a mountain, a wave, a storm, a ramp, kicker, beach, a soccer ball, skates or a snowy mountain over a finish line. But sometimes… I need it. Like this evening. Not for the sport, but for the release. For the way it burns off all the energy I don’t know what to do with. For the way it clears my head- there is no pressure – you just run. Running, to me, isn’t about pace — it’s about peace.
Sometimes you just need to move.
Today
Mini me — in her Allstars, untamed and unstoppable — would be proud.
Today… I think I am too.
Not just for running. Not just for showing up.
But for the road we’ve taken — full of sharp turns, steep climbs, wild detours, and unexpected pauses.
For choosing the unconventional path.
For falling, getting up, pushing boundaries, shifting direction.
For chasing fear and choosing growth, again and again.
Because even if it wasn’t the straightest or simplest road…
It brought me back to this start line. The fun. The party. The friends. And little me.
Because showing up — with doubts, a racing / competition heart, and shoes I hadn’t planned on wearing — that’s what athletes do. Before I knew it, I was lacing up my shoes and running alongside those I came to watch and used to cheer for.
And somehow, I crossed it — the finish line.
This evening showed me I still am one of them.
It wasn’t the fastest time. It wasn’t a podium. It wasn`t as smooth as ever before.
But it was a win.
Sometimes, all it takes is a tiny nudge.
The right people. The right energy. One moment of “Why not?”
You don’t always need the perfect prep to show up—you need the courage to try again. This run brought something back. My heartbeat, my focus, my fire.
That little girl who ran with everything she had? She never left. And had just run a 5k in 24;43. I promise to keep that fire alive!
Note: this artikel might be written at a later or earlier date.
